Trust The Process
It has always been said that love looks what is inside the heart and sees through differences. People always say that love does not see age, gender, color, race, religion, social status, etc. A man can fall in love with a woman who is much younger than him. The sex of a person does not dictate his or her sexual orientation. It does not matter if you are gay, lesbian, transgender, transsexual, bisexual, or queer. You can love who ever your heart desires to love. A Christian can fall in love with a Muslim. People from different race and religion can choose to be with each other. But do these things always happen? Do people really love freely or are there standards or processes that a person must follow to know if one is fit to become his or her mate?
The prevailing culture in a society implicitly dictates several social norms such as dress codes, gender roles, mate selection, and etc. Some cultures allow polygamy while others find it illegal. Some parents would want their child to marry one of the relatives in order to preserve traditions. Not wanting to break the tradition within a family, children would tend to follow whatever mating process their family has. They tend to marry a person who has the same beliefs and culture as them. (Strayer et al.)
Religion is also a huge factor that people consider when choosing who to marry. Many religions believe that marriage must only happen between a woman and a man. They do not recognize marriages between homosexuals because they see it as a sin. There are cultures that does not encourage people to stay single. For them, staying single is a disgrace to the family. (Strayer et al.)
The movie “Meet The Patels” tackles how a man chooses a woman to become his mate. In the movie, Ravi Patel is always pressured by his parents to get married. Ravi thought that he wanted what all the Patels had. He thought that he wanted to get married with a Patel woman because all the Patel marriages that he knows are working very well. He thought that he wanted to marry an Indian woman because he wants his future children to experience what he experienced. (Meet The Patels)
The parents of Ravi firmly believe that getting married is important. It brings joy, recognition, and respect to the family. Since Ravi and his sister does not have wife and husband, they think that they failed as parents. The mother of Ravi is one of the best matchmaker in their town. Thus, their mother is gravely disappointed that she could not find the right woman and man for her own son and daughter. In their culture, it is a disgrace not being to get married. (Meet The Patels)
The parents of Ravi believed that you do not need to know a lot about a person before you get married to them. They believe you have a lifetime to discover the person and even a lifetime is not enough to fully get to know a person. There will always be moments that your partner would surprise you. They believe that you do not have to date a person for a long time before getting married because it is in marriage that you would get to unravel the person. However, Ravi disagrees with this. He believed that you must get to know a person first before deciding if you must marry her. (Meet The Patels)
His parents repeatedly told him throughout the movie that Ravi must trust their process of finding a mate. They said that the process works because their whole clan has been using it in order to get one Patel married to another Patel. The marriage of his parents is a product of the process as well as the marriage of his uncles, aunts, cousins, and other relatives. Judging by the status of their marriage and how happy they all are, one can say that process really works wonders. (Meet The Patels)
The process starts with creating your own biodata and adding it to the collection of biodatas that are readily available to all Patels who are looking a mate of their own or a mate for their child. After receiving the biodatas, a person, typically your parents, sifts through them and filters out those who are not “right” for you. They base their judgment on several factors such as education, family background, skin tone, and the recommendations of others. Ravi tried online dating, biodata dating, and wedding conventions. However, none of these worked. He still did not find the right woman for him. (Meet The Patels)
Throughout the course of his journey of finding the right woman for him, Ravi realized that he does not need an Indian woman. He realized he needed someone who know him and makes him happy. It dawned to him that he has been comparing every woman he got to date with Audrey, his ex-girlfriend. He realized that no matter what he does he will not be able to see in other women what he sees in Audrey. At the end of the movie, Ravi got back with Audrey, who ultimately won the hearts of his family. (Meet The Patels)
Personally, I do not follow any traditions on who I should choose to date. However, there are a few things I look in a person before I consider dating them. First, I want a man who respects other people regardless of their status in life. He must have the same respect to a boss and to a waiter. He must be capable of engaging in deep and insightful conversations. I am attracted to intellectual people. However, I do not think that it is essential to get married right away or to get married at all. I believe that there is nothing disgraceful in being single because not everyone is made to become a husband, a wife, or a parent.
References
Patel, Geeta and Ravi Patel, directors. Meet The Patels.
Strayer, Eric, et al. Introduction to Sociology. 2nd ed., OpenStax College, 2015.
